The phone call...

Clearly no one cares about the sovereignty of Liechtenstein.

The problem is, the Swiss don't even have the common decency to at least generate some sort of hoopla about yellow cake and WMD. Actually, I think the current administration should take note on how to handle this sort of thing. There's a lesson to be learned.


That lesson is: if you have a really good reason to invade somewhere, but don't want to share it, just tell the invaded "My bad."

For those of you who didn't already know, Switzerland invaded Liechtenstein during the early hours of March 2nd 2007. It's not a big deal and you can rest assured, they didn't mean it. One might say it is "Friendly Fire Imperialism".

A spokesman for the Swiss Army, Daniel Reist, told the Associated Press "We've spoken to the authorities in Liechtenstein and it's not a problem."

Liechtenstein Interior Ministry spokesman Markus Amman was quoted as saying no one in Liechtenstein had noticed the invasion. He told AP "It's not like they stormed over here with attack helicopters or something."

This brings up a number of issues. In Liechtenstein, a country with a population of about 34,000 do you really need an "Interior Ministry Spokesman"? I'm guessing they could save some money and just have the Interior Minister do it themselves.

The second issue is it's apparently not actually an official act of war unless you "[storm] with attack helicopters or something."

It's quite the precedent.

Austria (Liechtenstein's other border) take note. If I'm the head of random invasion planning for the Austrian Military, I'm going to go ahead and march a battalion of attack-helicopter-less ninjas into downtown Liechtenstein and yell "Oli-Oli-Ox-In-Free! You're mine now bitch!"

Lastly, how exactly does that phone call play out?

Amman: Liechtenstein Interior Ministry. We don't have an army. Markus Amman speaking. How may I direct your call?

Reist: Yeah. Ummm. Markus..... This is Daniel Reist over at the Swiss Army...

Amman: (Interrupting) Hey, I thought you guys were neutral. You have an Army?

Reist: Uh... yeah. Well, that's the thing. We uh... well, we kinda invaded you. But it was an accident.

*Silence*

Amman: Sir, this is Liechtenstein's Interior Ministry. Did you mean to call France instead? Yes. That must be it. I think you have the wrong number. If you've invaded someone and need to tell them, I expect you want France instead. Let me find that numb......

Reist: No. No, I have the right number. You see some of our Army...

Amman: You have an Ar...


Reist: Yes Damn it. Now listen. Like I said, we didn't mean it.

Amman: Uh. OK. Well... We hadn't noticed. Will you be staying long? What are your demands? Please, do understand we're a little short on insurgents right now, if that's what you were hoping to find.


Reist: Actually, we already left.

Amman: I see. I was wondering why I hadn't seen that memo.


Reist: Yeah.... OK, just thought we should let you know. If you need a watch or a knife or something..

Amman: Great. Well I appreciate it. You sure you don't want the French number while I have you on the line?

As you can clearly see the route to avoid international condemnation is to say "Ooops."