Penguins, Ponies, Clowns, and Schrodingers Cat.

1. Clowns are bad. They just are. In fact clowns are likely involved in the greater penguin conspiracy. I have it on good authority the anti-Christ may well be a clown, be friends with a clown, or at some point have been to the circus.

2. Penguins. Why in the crapdiggity are there no UN Observers for these "oh-so-cute" little bastards? Sure, they come across as cute in their little tuxedo costumes, waddling around looking harmless. As soon as the camera leaves though, oh yeah, they're building nukes. The reason everyone thought the North Korean test was so small was because the PDIA (oh sorry - Penguin Defense Intelligence Agency) called up Kim Jong Il and said "Dude. You craim you did this. No one wirr know it was us then." Subsequently, this made the seismometer data be interpreted incorrectry er... incorrectly. While the LBWB (Little Black and White Bastards) successfully lit-off a 300gazillion megaton weapon.

3. Ponies. The world needs more ponies. But no more clowns. Clowns will steal your soul. (It's true. It's on wikipedia somewhere.)

4. Schrodinger's cat. WTF? Why spend that much energy on the whole thing. Surely we know an atom will decay within that period.

5. Time travel. If you divide time (T) by unit of time as infinitum (u) you define all the possible segregations of time. Lets assign these each a identifier starting at 2. (1 is a bad number. See below) So, number from 2 to infinity, we can define all time with a unique identifier. Lets call those time channels. If time travel is possible it cannot be invented. Well, not now at least. You see if time travel is possible it has already happened on a different channel which you failed to subscribe to. You cannot go back in time, because you failed to subscribe during the special promotion and instead someone else has done it already. But in the future. But then again, there is no future because if it is possible you could go forward to the point where it is possible, but then it would have happened in the past. Again, you screwed up, time is irrelevant, and you didn't bring the correct remote to watch the right channel. Jackass.

6. The number One. Recently it has become very apparent the number "one" is, quite frankly, full of shit. It has been presenting itself as the first real number when in fact it is absolutely no different than 0.99e+inf. There is in fact no way to distinguish itself from what it purports to be a "lesser recurring decimal."