Not writing.

(Originally posted 12/17/2006)

I haven't written anything for a while, you say?

Yes, it's true. But it's not for a lack of want. The human took away my internet "privileges" after the incident with the Johnson's rabbit. I don't think it was fair, but apparently I have no say in the matter and there's no Gunner-Legal-Defense-Fund. Oh sure, a sitting President can do strange things with a cigar and an intern and his wife will help raise money to defend him. But Me? Not so much.

Well, on to other things.

I was allowed into the house again because it was windy. That lasted until I tried to help the human not waste so much good stuff. Humans are strange in that way. They put all sorts of yummy things in plastic bags under whatever a "Kitchen Sink" is. But you try and help them not waste that good stuff, and simply set up a floor-buffet to share and the hummies lose their minds. Wasteful, wasteful creatures. Anyway, Im back outside.

So with a little time on my paws again, I've been thinking. Many of you may think it rediculous that a dog without opposible thumbs can type. Rediculous? Talk about the pot and kettle -you're the one reading what I write.

The yippy Dachsund neighbors are arguing again. They never shut up. If you're gonna bark about something at least make it worthwhile, like a tennis ball, or flashing lights, or food, or cars, or motorcycles, or people, sirens, or oh better yet just to annoy the human.

The human thought he would be funny by bringing home a stuffed dog. Don't laugh, those things are scary. I had to stay barricaded in my Dogloo for about 30 mins.

Online music stores suck. I want to get a decent track and I cant. The only place I can get Nightwish's Everdream is through a website in Hong Kong and the hummie keeps noticing when I swipe his credit cards. I want a pay raise so I can have my own credit cards. Admittedly, I get a number of card offers in the mail, but the postman and I don't get along so.... What? Its genetic!!! He's hooked up with the penguins!!!

Speaking of penguins, let's address Gwen Stefani. There really isn't a link here, but hey; its Gwen Stefani. I don't have to write anything about her, because you should already know. If you don't then stop reading here.

Minions. I need some.

From Wikipedia (its on the internet so its true.) ( Minion )

The word Minion is recorded in English since 1501, "a favorite; a darling; a low dependant; one who pleases rather than benefits" [Johnson], from M.Fr. mignon means a favorite, pet or spoiled person. The word is adapted from the Middle French mignon "a favorite, darling", also "dainty, pleasing, favorite" as an adjective, from Old French mignot, itself possibly from Italian mignone. Anyway the ultimate origin is doubtful- connections with the Old High German minna 'love' and with a Celtic root min- 'small' have been suggested. It was used without disparaging overtones in the 16th-17th centuries.

In modern English the word minion almost always refers to a person of a lower order, especially in relation to work. The "office minion" referring to a subordinate office worker.

Come on, I mean ask yourself "What supreme evil oberfeldmarshal doesn't have minions? Blofeld? Yup he had em. Hell, even Bond (a supposed good guy) had em. Sure he worked for "M" but thats only a plot tool. And since he's just a tool, M is a minion. In fact, I wouldn't be too far off-base to suggest that M stands for minion.

Sean Connery, since we're on the topic - is 007. Not Lazenby. Moore, Dalton, Brosnan are right out. We'll see about Craig. I guess there's hope for him, he has his own list right?

Van Halen is going to tour with David Lee Roth again. Hmm. Im guessing that lasts about point 5 shows. Hopefully they replace him with Gwen Stefani at that point. She'd be a better David Lee Roth than David. Heck, she is the only other one who could pull off Bond.

I'm currently working on investing my touche to make it a 3 or 4 che. The che market is pretty decent right now.

So maybe you came here looking for my latest rant on pyroelectric fusion? Many people do, but alas you may be sorely disappointed. Instead I shall treat you to ramblings about the safety of travelling at infinite speed.