More reasons why Sean Connery is Bond.

Roger Moore is a terrible spy and Sean Connery is BOND. Period.

Marie-Ségolène Royal is a socialist candidate for President in France. Some of you may already have assigned two strikes against her just from that sentence.

She is the sister of Gérard Royal. Gérard was previously an agent of the La Direction Générale de la Sécurité Extérieure (Frenchanese for the General Directorate of External Security.) The DGSE is tasked with working outside the physical borders of France to find new and exciting people to whom they can wave white flags.

Actually, I don't believe that at all. In fact it's rather tiresome to hear Americans complain about "Saving France during World War II." Anyone care to remember the French role in the American Revolution? Still, it's cheap easy humor. Can't go wrong.

Getting back to Gerard. Gerard has been implicated in the 1985 invasion (on purpose no-less) of Aukland Harbour in New Zealand. Once the French had slipped through the NZAC defenses, they sank the Rainbow Warrior - completely misinterpreting the bumper sticker.

From the Rainbow Warrior - turned man-made reef - we digress to Jacques Cousteau. A man who delighted us all with the wonders of the sea. Many of you don't know that Jacques had a long-running romance with "Flipper." In fact they had a child together. That child was:

Keiko.

John Denver wrote a song about Cousteau called "Calypso". This occurred just before Denver went down like a flaming yard dart and joined the Rainbow Warrior. Some of you may be confused and believe Calypso was written by Harry Belafonte. Actually, Harry Belafonte was a calypso musician.

Harry Belafonte is / was a number of things. One of those things is a friend of the NRA. You protest?

When I say NRA, clearly I mean Moses. On 08/28/1963 Belafonte and some other people, about 250,000 other people, were in the common-sense-blackhole known as Washington DC. Belafonte (and the 250k) listened to a speech popularly dubbed "I have a dream" amongst the other speakers. The march was entitled "March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom."

NRA? I'm getting there.

Included in the 250k were Bob Dylan, Sidney Poitier, Marlon Brando, Joan Baez, "Peter, Paul and Mary (who incidentally are all the same person) and - Moses aka Charlton Heston. Moses would later buy the NRA on profits he made when he spun off portions of the 17 commandments. Today, of course, we know the core industry to be very profitable as the "10 Commandments."

Clearly you understand then that Belafonte is a big fan of the NRA. That said we take the next logical step. The Muppets. (He was on the show in 1978)

The Muppet Show consisted of 120 episodes between 1976 and 1981.

Episode 24 of season 5. Who's the guest star? Roger Moore. Did I mention this is the last episode? Roger Moore drove the Muppets into the ground!!!! Damn him.

You protest and say Connery was never on the show, so how can I compare them? He was in every freaking episode. You never saw him. He's just that freaking good as Bond.

In summary:

French socialists nuke rainbow as seen by Cousteau who was liked by Denver not Belafonte who is the NRA as allowed by Moses on the Muppet Show which was ruined by Moore despite the fact Connery could have saved everyone.