I need something to do. I'm as bored as a Priest at a Girls' Choir practice.
It's not that I don't have things I should be doing. I don't want to to do those because they're not fun. So, I guess more specifically, I need something fun to do. The problem is there is a direct correlation between fun and incarceration. The better the ideas I have and more fun things tend to be for me, the longer the minimum mandatory sentencing guidelines are.
It's not that I'm trying to harm anyone or anything. It's just a distinct lack of any semblance of a sense of humor on the part of the government. Albeit true, I work for said government carefully dispensing anti-fun. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate the art.
To take a completely unrelated example, I present to you Murray Head.
Murray Head you ask? Yes, and stop giggling you ninny. You will recall Murray Head as the artist who provided us with the one-hit-wonder "One night in Bangkok". Again stop giggling at the word Bangkok. Apparently, the officials of Thailand were none too happy with this song. Let alone using it in any tourist board advertisments.
The intrigue gets deeper when you learn the song was written by former members of ABBA. Yes, the same band that was solely responsible for the Munich Massacre.
Speaking of Massacres, Kool-Aid is a brand of Kraft Foods Incorporated. That said, why do we spell Kool-Aid and Kraft with a K? To avoid the ambiguity of the oft-mispronouced C? No, I think not. In fact, K is a part of the larger Penguin Konspiracy.
By the way and For what it's worth....
There's something happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear. There's a man with a gun over there, telling me I got to beware. I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down.
Speaking of going down,
Bill Clinton has disappeared from Hillary's campaign in the last few weeks. It's got to be killing him. I'm suprised that he's been able to do it. The guy didn't want to be President. He wanted to be the winning Presidential Candidate. Sure, he's a policy wonk, a teflon Don, and McDonald's poster child. Not because it was part of his ethos, but because that's what you wanted him to be. In fact, he's like a bad sci-fi movie. You created him from inner-scary-secrets. This phenom is documented in the original Ghostbusters.
Now that we're talking about Ghostbusters, we can skip Ray Parker Jr. and examine the oddity which we know to be Walter Peck. There is a distinct lack of documentation showing William Atherton and Kenneth Brannaghghghghghhhh er Branah.. Branagh ever having appeared at the same location.
It's not that I don't have things I should be doing. I don't want to to do those because they're not fun. So, I guess more specifically, I need something fun to do. The problem is there is a direct correlation between fun and incarceration. The better the ideas I have and more fun things tend to be for me, the longer the minimum mandatory sentencing guidelines are.
It's not that I'm trying to harm anyone or anything. It's just a distinct lack of any semblance of a sense of humor on the part of the government. Albeit true, I work for said government carefully dispensing anti-fun. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate the art.
To take a completely unrelated example, I present to you Murray Head.
Murray Head you ask? Yes, and stop giggling you ninny. You will recall Murray Head as the artist who provided us with the one-hit-wonder "One night in Bangkok". Again stop giggling at the word Bangkok. Apparently, the officials of Thailand were none too happy with this song. Let alone using it in any tourist board advertisments.
The intrigue gets deeper when you learn the song was written by former members of ABBA. Yes, the same band that was solely responsible for the Munich Massacre.
Speaking of Massacres, Kool-Aid is a brand of Kraft Foods Incorporated. That said, why do we spell Kool-Aid and Kraft with a K? To avoid the ambiguity of the oft-mispronouced C? No, I think not. In fact, K is a part of the larger Penguin Konspiracy.
By the way and For what it's worth....
There's something happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear. There's a man with a gun over there, telling me I got to beware. I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down.
Speaking of going down,
Bill Clinton has disappeared from Hillary's campaign in the last few weeks. It's got to be killing him. I'm suprised that he's been able to do it. The guy didn't want to be President. He wanted to be the winning Presidential Candidate. Sure, he's a policy wonk, a teflon Don, and McDonald's poster child. Not because it was part of his ethos, but because that's what you wanted him to be. In fact, he's like a bad sci-fi movie. You created him from inner-scary-secrets. This phenom is documented in the original Ghostbusters.
Now that we're talking about Ghostbusters, we can skip Ray Parker Jr. and examine the oddity which we know to be Walter Peck. There is a distinct lack of documentation showing William Atherton and Kenneth Brannaghghghghghhhh er Branah.. Branagh ever having appeared at the same location.
By the way, Ron Jeremy was in Ghostbusters. It's true. On the Internet and everything.
See, I told you I need something to do. Maybe I'll make fun of the upcoming Olympics. In all seriousness though, I hope ABBA stays away.
No comments:
Post a Comment